How to Regulate Your Nervous System as a Woman with ADHD
Why Female ADHD Can Feel Like an Emotional Rollercoaster
Living with ADHD as a woman can feel like a lot. Our brains are wired to think quickly and juggle multiple tasks, often resulting in intense emotional highs and lows. It's common to experience overstimulation in too loud, chaotic, or overwhelming environments, leading to emotional shutdowns, bursts of frustration, or reactive behaviours. But here's the thing: these emotions and reactions aren’t random - they’re an essential part of how our nervous system processes stress, emotions, and sensory overload. Learning to understand and regulate this system is a game-changer.
How Dysregulation Shows Up
When your nervous system is dysregulated, your emotional state can feel all over the place. Here’s how it might show up:
Shutdown: You might find yourself withdrawing from everything, feeling numb, disconnected, or exhausted. This is your body’s way of shutting down in response to overwhelming stimuli, trying to protect you from too much input.
Overstimulation: On the flip side, when your brain is overloaded with information, sounds, or feelings, you might become easily overwhelmed. It’s like your internal volume is on high, and it’s hard to focus or think clearly. This can lead to frustration, anxiety, or an inability to process your emotions.
Reactivity: Sometimes, when things feel out of control, we react impulsively, either by snapping at others, feeling incredibly irritable, or experiencing emotional outbursts. Can you relate? These are often responses to feeling unsafe or overwhelmed in the moment.
Recognising these patterns in your own life can be a first step toward taking back control over your emotions and reactions.
Somatic Cues to Recognise Your State
The body often sends signals before your mind fully registers that you're dysregulated. These somatic cues (physical and bodily sensations) can act as a 'warning system', telling you when your nervous system is in need of attention. The same as when we feel physical pain, our body can give us cues for emotional pain too:
Tightness in the chest: Anxiety or stress often manifests physically as a constricted chest. If you notice this sensation, it’s time to slow down and breathe deeply. This helps let your body know you are safe and getting a healthy amount of oxygen.
Racing heartbeat: A fast, thumping heartbeat can be a sign of stress or anxiety. It’s your body telling you that something needs to shift. This can feel really scary. Again, slow down and breathe.
Shallow breathing or holding your breath: When you're dysregulated, your breathing may become shallow or erratic, signalling your body’s fight-or-flight response.
Tension in the jaw, shoulders or neck: These areas tend to hold a lot of stress. If you catch yourself physically tense, it may be a sign that your body is under pressure. It's ok to release and soften.
When you can recognise these cues, it becomes easier to address the issue before it escalates. Being attuned to these signs can help you take steps to calm your nervous system before a full meltdown. Sit down, ground yourself with your feet on the floor and take some deep, slow breaths.
4 Tools That Actually Help
Once you've identified that your nervous system is out of balance, it’s time to implement strategies to bring it back to a more grounded state. Here are a few tools that can make a significant difference:
Breathwork: Deep breathing is one of the fastest ways to reset your nervous system. Try the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly for 8 seconds. This triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, calming your body and mind.
Grounding: Grounding techniques involve reconnecting to the present moment by using your senses. For example, you can press your feet into the floor, focus on an object nearby, or even hold a piece of ice in your hand. These activities help bring your mind back to the here and now, shifting focus away from overwhelming emotions.
Movement: A quick walk or a few minutes of stretching can reset your energy levels and help release physical tension. Yoga, dance, or simply walking, indoors or outside, can work wonders for both your body and mind.
Safe Spaces: Create environments that promote calm. This could mean retreating to a quiet room, using calming scents like lavender, or wrapping yourself in a blanket. Your safe space acts as a sanctuary, giving you a physical place to rest and recharge.
Daily Habits to Keep Your Nervous System Steady
Consistency is key when it comes to managing your nervous system. Developing little habits that support steady emotional regulation can make a big difference over time. Here's some daily habits to help:
Morning mindfulness: Start your day with a short mindfulness practice. This can be as simple as 5 minutes of breathing exercises, meditation, or setting positive intentions for the day.
Regular breaks: ADHD brains tend to get overwhelmed by long periods of focus, so make sure to take breaks throughout your day. Step away from your desk, stretch, or go for a walk to reset your mind.
Evening wind-down: End your day with a calming ritual, such as reading, journaling, or taking a warm bath. These activities signal to your body that it’s time to relax and prepare for restful sleep.
Nutrition and hydration: Taking care of your body with healthy meals and plenty of water plays a critical role in stabilising your nervous system. Blood sugar imbalances can contribute to mood swings, so aim for balanced meals throughout the day. Lots of fibre and protein!
Why Small Steps Matter and What to Explore Next
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the idea of regulating your nervous system, especially if it's your first time exploring this part of you. But the truth is, small, consistent steps add up over time.
Recognising your body’s cues, using grounding techniques, and developing daily habits will help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of ADHD more effectively.
Start with one or two tools that resonate with you, and integrate them into your daily routine. As you continue practicing, you’ll develop a stronger sense of self-regulation and emotional resilience.
Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the complexities of ADHD and nervous system regulation - you’ve got this!
TLDR:
Women with ADHD often experience intense emotional ups and downs due to nervous system dysregulation.
Recognising somatic cues (like physical sensations) can help you identify when you're dysregulated.
Using tools like breathwork, grounding, and creating safe spaces can bring you back to balance and help you stay steady.
